Herb Melnick

Dr. Herbert Gregory "Herb" Melnick, is Myra's older brother, Judith's second ex-husband, Jake's doctor and later ex-stepfather, and a good friend of Alan, Charlie, and Walden.

Herb Melnick
Vital statistics
Names	Dr. Herbert Gregory Melnick, Herb, Big Bird
Gender	Male
Race	Human
Occupation	Pediatrician
Origin	Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 2: Enjoy Those Garlic Balls (as Greg) September 27, 2004, Season 4 Episode 5: A Live Woman of Proven Fertility (as Herb) October 16, 2006
Alignment	Good
Age	40s
Created By	Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn
Height	1.98m (6 ft 6 in)
Weight	95 kg (209.4lbs)

Appearance

• Hair: Herb has light brown hair, which is often styled in a short and neat fashion. In some episodes, his hair may appear slightly disheveled, reflecting his laid-back personality.
• Facial Features: He has a generally round face with a friendly demeanor. Herb's face is characterized by a strong chin and a broad smile, often reflecting his easygoing nature.
• Clothing: Herb's wardrobe is casual and typically consists of button-up shirts, polos, and casual pants. He often wears comfortable clothing suitable for his role as a chiropractor and for his laid-back personality.
• Accessories: He usually does not wear many accessories, maintaining a simple and straightforward appearance.

Personality

• Easygoing: Herb is notably laid-back and relaxed. He tends to take life as it comes, rarely getting flustered by stressful situations. This easygoing nature makes him approachable and friendly.
• Good-Natured: Herb is generally good-natured and kind, with a sense of humor that often reflects his easygoing personality. He enjoys making jokes and has a positive outlook on life.
• Supportive: Despite his relaxed demeanor, Herb shows himself to be supportive, especially in his relationships. He is a caring partner to his wife, Judith, and tries to be a good father to their children.
• Insecure: Herb sometimes exhibits insecurity, particularly concerning his career and his relationship with Judith. His insecurities occasionally lead him to seek validation from others.
• Affectionate: He displays affection towards his family, though his way of expressing it is often casual and understated. Herb's affection is evident in his interactions with his children and his attempts to be supportive, even if he doesn't always express it perfectly.
• Non-Confrontational: Herb tends to avoid confrontation and prefers to keep things light and friendly. He often goes along with others' plans or suggestions rather than asserting his own preferences.

Biography

Herb was born on February 14th, in an undisclosed year during the 1960s, making him in his 50s. He was known as a geek in high school, earning the nickname "Big Bird" due to his height of 203 centimeters and his preference for wearing yellow jerseys. He only mentioned his first date in college, where he confessed to no longer wearing yellow shirts and lowering his expectations in relationships. He also shared with Alan that he had his first sexual experience with one of Alan's ex-girlfriends in a driveway, revealing that they were not in a car. Herb was married once and attempted to start a family with his wife, but she passed away. In his early relationship with Judith, Alan mentioned "No alimony. Got to love that" in response to Herb's reaction. Herb was Judith's pediatrician when she met Jake, and after her divorce from Alan, they began dating in the second season. They broke up but reconciled in season four and eventually got married. Alan initially opposed the idea, but changed his mind once he realized he wouldn't have to pay alimony. The wedding was far from perfect; just before Charlie had sex with Myra, Herb's sister, who eventually fell in love with him, broke up with him because she was engaged. Later, Herb's ex-fiancée Shannon locked Alan in a closet during the wedding ceremony to make it seem like they were having sex.

Herb's marriage to Judith mirrored Alan's marriage to her, often leading Alan to seek Herb's advice on how to handle his own marriage. Despite his deep love for Judith, their marriage was far from ideal, as Herb once accidentally revealed to Alan that he sleeps in the guest room, explaining why he uses the guest towels. He also shared during a conversation with Charlie, Alan, Gordon, and Chris at Lyndsey's house after Alan's house burned down, that he has a "simple, honest marriage," to which Charlie responded, "You've been taking out the trash for two hours, Herb." Herb's marital troubles might stem from his quirky, absent-minded nature, which often leads him to give Alan unconventional advice, like using tomato juice and ketchup to remove skunk smell.

Alan and Herb are actually close friends, which often irks Judith. Herb has even allowed Alan to move in with him and Judith after a dispute with Charlie. He even took Alan's belongings before deciding to hang out at Charlie's. Whenever Judith and Herb argue, Herb tends to spend time at Charlie's, which irks Charlie. Herb has occasionally shown envy towards Charlie's single life and has described Charlie as "a little wild with alcohol and women, but all-in-all a good guy." He has also expressed envy towards Alan's past relationship with 22-year-old Kandi.

He also displayed a (partially) hidden interest in Alan's girlfriend, Lyndsey, and when Alan shared his doubts about Charlie and Lyndsey's relationship, Herb responded with, "That Lucky Ducky!" Alan also disclosed to Lyndsey that whenever Herb gazes upon her, he envisions her in a state of wetness and nudity. When Judith expelled Herb for a prolonged duration, he enlisted the services of prostitutes for himself and Charlie, then felt so embarrassed that he returned to Judith. Judith and Herb engaged in sexual activity, leading to Judith's pregnancy, but Herb was unaware that Judith had also engaged in unprotected sex with Alan, suggesting that either could be the father. During Judith's pregnancy, Herb suffered a leg injury and had to tend to his own medical needs, leaving Charlie to serve as Judith's trainer. Herb and Judith named their daughter Mildred, though she is more commonly known as "Milly". Herb is often referred to as "the best Judith ever had." He is also involved in water polo and participates in a barbershop quartet, with his hobbies centered around gardening, which he views as a sexual activity. He explains that he ensures the soil is adequately moist by "sticking his finger in the ol' mother earth" and uses a hose to water it if it's too dry before planting seeds, advising Alan and Charlie to handle the seeds with care. He also has a passion for model trains and possesses an entire collection.

In the premiere of Season 9, Herb was seen in two scenes, both before and after Charlie Harper's funeral. He was deeply affected by the death of his close friend, Charlie Harper, who had been giving him advice for the past five years before his untimely passing. He made it through four episodes in Season 9. He made a comeback in the season finale, Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!.

During Season 10, Herb's marriage to Judith ends due to his infidelity with his receptionist. After falling into a deep depression, he indulged in wild parties at Walden's beach house, excessive drinking, and lost control of his actions. He then moved into a place for single individuals. They eventually made up, but it seems Herb hasn't fully recovered from his affair with Walden discovering he had hired another attractive receptionist after making up with Judith.

It appears Herb and Judith went their separate ways again, as seen in the episode Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin of Season 11, where she decides to remarry Alan. Herb doesn't make an appearance in the season.

Herb returns in the episode Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight to celebrate Alan and Walden's adoption of the baby of Kathy. In Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey, he invites Alan to his yoga class to stay in shape. It's later revealed that one of the students is Lyndsey McElroy. After Alan has a disagreement with her, Herb shows interest in Lyndsey but promises Alan he'll keep his distance, which he later breaks.

Trivia

• He's unaware of Charlie's references to sexuality while he's tending to his garden, yet his gardening activities actually enhance his sexual life.
• The character was initially called Greg in the early episodes of Season 2, but as he became a regular in Season 4, his first name was changed to Herb, suggesting it might be his middle name.
• He has feelings for Judith, yet she behaves towards him as harshly as she did towards Alan.
• He's passionate about model trains, plays water polo, and is part of a barbershop quartet (The Two Finger Rule) where he also enjoys gardening.
• During his high school years, he was known as "Big Bird" due to his tall stature and his preference for wearing yellow sweaters.
• Both Herb and Judith have formed close friendships with Walden Schmidt, who purchased Charlie's beach house following his passing and allowed Alan and Jake to remain there.
• He's unaware of Judith's short-lived affairs. Her first was with Alan when he was evicted from the house in Season 6. The second occurred in Season 9 with Walden after Judith tried to advise him on his impact on Jake, following Walden's decision to leave Jake for him.
• By Season 9, Herb Melnick and Walden Schmidt are the sole individuals who view Alan as a friend.
• Herb's marriage to Judith was significantly shorter than Alan's.
• Even though it's explicitly mentioned he's a pediatrician, in Season 12, Herb treats Alan for a strained neck and performs a prostate exam on him.
• Unlike Alan, he has a better success rate with women, and Judith seems to prefer Herb over Alan.