Charlie Harper

Charlie Harper
“ I'm a big ol' bourbon-soaked, cigar-huffing ass, as God in His infinite wisdom meant me to be. As He meant all men to be!. „ ― S3 E15 (My Tongue is Meat)
Vital statistics
Names	Charles Francis Harper, Charlie Waffles, Dr. Charlie Harper, Dr. Philip Gonzalez, Gonzalez, Bo Jingles, Monkey-Man, C. Roscoe Harper,
Gender	Male
Race	Human
Occupation	Jingle Composer, Musician, Kids Song Performer and Composer
Origin	Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot (Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal) September 22, 2003
Alignment	Mixed
Age	36 years old (S1) 48 years old (S12)
Created By	Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn
Height	1.78 m (5ft 10in)
Weight	Varies

Charles Francis "Charlie" Harper is one of the main characters of Two and a Half Men for the first eight seasons and appears as a guest character in Season 9 and the series finale. He was portrayed by Charlie Sheen in Seasons 1-8, by Kathy Bates in a voice appearance, and by an uncredited actor in the series finale.

Appearance

He is most often dressed in his signature casual attire: short-sleeve, bowling-style shirts with stripes or patterns, paired with knee-length cargo shorts. This relaxed style reflects his easy-going personality and beachside lifestyle. On occasion, he may wear jeans or long pants, but he rarely dresses formally. Charlie has a medium build, stands about average height, and maintains a slightly tanned complexion, indicative of his Malibu location. His hair is dark brown, kept relatively short and often slightly tousled. His facial hair is usually clean-shaven, although he occasionally has light stubble. He often wears a wristwatch and, in some episodes, can be seen wearing sunglasses, especially when lounging outside or around his house. He frequently holds a drink, like a glass of whiskey or a beer, emphasizing his laid-back and indulgent lifestyle. Charlie maintains a well-groomed appearance, with neatly trimmed hair and a polished look that complements his role as a wealthy jingle writer who enjoys the finer things in life. However, his casual demeanor and the occasional unkempt look reflect his hedonistic tendencies.

Personality

For much of the series, Charlie retains his womanizing "player" persona, but at times he shows he can be dedicated to one woman. The longest relationship he maintained was with Chelsea, to whom he was more committed than to anyone else. He also fell head-over-heels for Mia, and they planned to marry in Vegas, but he got cold feet and called it off. His longest and most peculiar relationship, however, is with his one-night stand turned stalker, Rose. Despite Rose's obsessive and often vengeful behavior—like breaking into his house or gluing his testicles to his thigh—Charlie develops genuine feelings for her. Near the end of Season 8, he confesses his love for her, and they become engaged in Paris. However, he cheats on her with a French maid and a goat, which leads Rose to push him under a train.

Charlie is confident, persuasive, and charming, often using trickery or manipulation to get women into bed. For example, in "Just Like Buffalo," he scatters toys he "bought" for Jake around his house to portray himself as a loving uncle, then successfully charms Judith's support group despite his sexist behavior. Charlie often views his sexual conquests as a challenge or a game, aiming to top his previous exploits. For instance, he once boasts about having slept with all thirteen members of his satanic girlfriend Isabel's coven ("Hi, Mr. Horned One") and later claims a "personal best" of five women at once ("Working for Caligula"). When Alan asks which of the attractive volleyball players he wants, Charlie responds that his goal is to sleep with nine of them that night ("Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab"). However, beneath his rough exterior, Charlie does have a caring side and deeply loves his family. An example of this is when he decides not to marry his fiancée so that Alan and Jake wouldn't have to worry about finding a new place to live.

Charlie has few, if any, boundaries when it comes to who he will sleep with, even at the risk of his own safety. He has a history of sleeping with mentally unstable women, such as when he encourages Alan to sleep with his own unstable girlfriend, Sandy, saying it was "great" but that it's best to pick "a position where you can see their hands." The best example of this is Rose, although she may not have revealed her craziness while they were dating. Despite his hypochondriac tendencies, Charlie once slept with a woman who was sick, later becoming ill himself as a result—another trap set up by Rose. Even after discovering that Linda, his girlfriend, was almost identical to his mother Evelyn in both characteristics and dress style, he still slept with her, claiming he was "already going to hell" ("Apologies for the Frivolity"). The one time Charlie refused sex was with Gloria, who Evelyn revealed might be his half-sister, which surprised both Berta and Rose as they finally found his boundary ("Walnuts and Demerol").

One notable aspect of Charlie's character is that despite his life of selfish womanizing, he often avoids any "karmic justice" for his actions, while the women he sleeps with or his own family suffer. For instance, he had a purely physical relationship with Alan's expensive lawyer but later dumped her for her assistant. This caused the lawyer to retaliate by ensuring Alan received virtually nothing in his divorce, a situation that became the catalyst for many episode plots ("No Sniffing, No Wowing"). Another example is his relationship with Miss Pasternak, Jake's teacher. After sleeping with her ("A Bag Full of Jawea"), she gives Jake perfect scores on his tests. When Charlie ends things with her, she suffers a breakdown, assigns excessive work to all her students, bites the PE teacher, loses her job, becomes estranged from her parents, and eventually becomes a stripper. Charlie, feeling remorseful for "ruining her life," tries to make amends by having her tutor Jake. This leads her to "see the light" and become a Christian, after which she plans to live with Charlie forever. In response, Charlie abandons her again, causing her to have yet another breakdown ("A Jock Strap in Hell").

Although he excels at getting women into bed with him, there are occasions when Charlie is dominated and manipulated by the opposite sex. The best example of this is Berta, his housekeeper, who he is actually afraid of because he claims that "what Berta lacks in cleaning skills, she makes up for in upper body strength" ("Santa's Village of the Damned"), which is the main reason he makes her do as little work as possible. However, when Charlie gets into personal trouble, it's usually because of Rose. She constantly manipulates him and controls his life by, for example, taping his testicles to his thigh, handcuffing him to a refrigerator, repeatedly breaking into his house without Charlie's consent, taping his closets shut ("Pilot"), messing with his mind by repeatedly flying from London and wearing different wigs ("City of Great Racks"), scaring away his fiancée Mia by carrying a wedding dress to her house and hoping they will not "get married on the aisle she deliberately makes Charlie sick by sending a girl with the flu to see him, tricks him into taking care of her for two weeks by drugging him constantly, stages a fake wedding with a mannequin to make him jealous ("The Crazy Bitch Gazette"), and locks him in a pit for four years ("Of Course He's Dead").

Charlie constantly "whoremongers", but shows interest in more sophisticated types of women in later seasons. For example, when he tries to talk to his girlfriend Dee-Dee after sex, he is irritated by her and asks Alan to set him up with Lydia, a judge ("Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo"). He is even prepared to get rid of his own dates if he has absolutely no interest in them. This is shown when he ditches a date on the sidewalk when he realises he'd rather be with Herb's sister, Myra, after having an interesting conversation the night before ("Smooth as a Ken Doll").

He is also known to let his age get the better of him. He through out his back out during sex with an actress, ("Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!") and became insecure about his age when he lost his girlfriend to an attractive Latino handyman, ignoring that he didn't like her in the first place and actually bought her affection with diamonds, ("Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'").

Charlie's Malibu Beach house is the main driven story for multiple episode plots. He is also incorrigible to any least significant change and perceives himself as "king of the castle" where he is actually ignorant to what goes on in his own home. When Alan bought a ceramic dish and used it for a key bowl in his living room he went berserk and actually destroyed it in his fireplace in a fit of rage. He also states that everything in his living room decor is there for a reason which Alan compared to looking like TGI Friday's, ("The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room"). Charlie has had multiple sexual relationships with women in his bedroom something that is emphasised where after Teddy Leopald died and police searched for semen in Charlie's room with a black-light, it actually covered all the walls (and the ceiling fan which he calls a "funny story"), ("Fish in a Drawer"). He sleeps using Egyptian cotton and has a self-heating toilet seat. It's also revealed he has two TV's in his room, one over-looking his bed that records him and channels to his living room television (presumably to review his sexual encounters), ("The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel") and overlooking his bathroom, ("Pinocchio's Mouth").

Many episode plots revolve around Charlie's constant efforts to get Alan out of his house. He nearly succeeds after a heated argument over a ceramic dish prompts Alan and Jake to move in with Evelyn and Teddy. However, Charlie chooses to apologize to Alan to avoid the possibility of his mother moving in with him. On another occasion, Charlie kicks Alan out after he repeatedly pesters him for the $38 he lent him, leading Alan to move in with Judith and Herb. This arrangement is short-lived after Alan accidentally kisses Judith, and he practically begs Charlie to let him return ("Pie Hole, Herb"). In another attempt, Charlie tries to convince Alan to move in with Lyndsey, going to great lengths like making him care for his girlfriend's cockatoo, which ends up biting Alan's penis, or having him share a shower with him ("A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer"). Alan eventually moves in with Lyndsey for a brief time, but they are forced to return to Charlie's house when Alan accidentally burns down Lyndsey's home ("Hookers, Hookers, Hookers").

Despite his frequent attempts to get rid of Alan, Charlie does care about his brother. For instance, he advises Frankie to break up with Alan, believing she's not right for him, and subtly acknowledges his care for Alan when Frankie asks about it ("That Was Saliva, Alan"). Charlie's caring side is also evident when he genuinely wishes Alan a happy birthday after Melissa kicks him out ("David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie"). He often advises Alan against making poor decisions and, despite frequently kicking him out, always allows him back into his home. In "I Found Your Moustache," Charlie admits that he does love Alan and enjoys having him around, even though he takes pleasure in making him suffer, as he openly admits multiple times.

Biography

Early Life

Charlie was conceived by Evelyn and Frank Harper. During Evelyn's ultrasound, the doctor mistakenly predicted a daughter, as there were no visible signs of male genitalia. Charlie was born prematurely at seven and a half months.

When Charlie was a child, he asked for a little brother for Christmas, and nine months later, Evelyn gave birth to her second son, Alan. Their father later died of food poisoning, leaving Charlie and Alan to have three stepfathers over the years. The first, Harry Luther Gorsky, left the family for a younger woman. The second, Don Thomas, was a nervous, gay man from Texas who referred to Charlie and Alan as "buckaroos." The third, Luther King, was an overweight man whose daughter Charlie seduced.

Charlie has always had a difficult relationship with Alan, frequently avoiding the responsibilities of being a good older brother. As a child, Charlie would bully Alan, giving him wedgies and teasing him at school. Once, Charlie planted a toy in Alan's pocket to make him shoplift, and when they got caught, he made Alan take the blame.

Charlie and Judith, Alan's future wife, clashed from the beginning. He even tried to bribe Alan not to marry her. At their wedding, Charlie had a fling with Judith's sister, Liz, in the coat closet.

During the late 1980s or early 1990s, Charlie had a brief encounter with a woman, resulting in the birth of a daughter named Jenny. Although Charlie was never part of Jenny's life, he supported her financially with monthly checks to her mother. The last time they saw each other was on Jenny's fourth birthday. Jenny later revealed that Charlie sent her only one letter, asking if her friends were 18 yet.

Charlie eventually dated Lisa, with whom he fell deeply in love. Together, they bought the Malibu beach house and hired Charlie's housekeeper, Berta. Their relationship was tumultuous, with periods where both, only one, or neither of them lived in the house. After they broke up for good, Charlie kept the house and referred to Lisa as his favorite girlfriend.

Later, Charlie had a serious relationship with Jill, who eventually broke up with him to travel to Europe and "find herself."

One night, Charlie had a one-night stand with a woman named Rose, whom he met at a bar. The next morning, he discovered she was his neighbor. From that point on, Rose became his stalker, once gluing his testicles to his thigh and sealing all his cabinets shut.

Life With Alan And Jake

Season 1

Charlie welcomes in his recently divorced brother, Alan Harper, with his son Jake. Charlie adjusts to his brother and nephew living with him, a one night stand, Rose, continues stalking him. Charlie learns that his favorite ex-girlfriend, Lisa is getting married, another ex named Jill, is now 'Bill', and his former sister-in-law, Liz doesn't remember who he is, even when they had relations at their sibling's wedding.

Season 2

Charlie starts to get annoyed with his brother for sponging off him, he dates Jake's teacher, dates the female version of him, and more. Charlie attempts to reconcile with his ex-girlfriend, Lisa, who is recently divorced; the relationship does not work out.

Season 3

Charlie starts dating a ballet teacher named Mia. The relationship lasts several episodes, but they split up when she keeps on trying to make him change. In the season finale, Mia comes back to Malibu and Charlie proposes. Mia agrees and they start to plan a wedding. Charlie and Mia decide to elope in Las Vegas and only have Alan and his girlfriend Kandi there. When Charlie learns that Mia wants Alan to move out, they call off the wedding. Charlie gives Alan and Kandi his wedding rings, and Alan marries Kandi and moves out.

Season 4

Charlie enjoys life with his brother having moved out, and his fiancée having left him. Charlie throws parties every night and enjoys the single life. Alan knocks on Charlie's door, four months after getting married and announces that Kandi kicked him out. Charlie has to deal with Alan and Jake moving back in, and Alan's second divorce.

Charlie starts a relationship with Lydia, a stuck-up snob in real estate that Alan, Jake, Rose, and Berta think is exactly like Evelyn, which is why Charlie dates her. The couple eventually break up when Lydia gets into a fight with Berta and they make him choose.

One Christmas, Charlie has a one-night stand with a woman named Gloria, who is revealed to be his and Alan's half sister from when their mother's husband had an affair with another woman.

Charlie has a brief relationship with Judith's fiancé's sister, Myra Melnick. The relationship doesn't go further when Charlie learns that Myra has to go home to her fiancé.

Season 5

Charlie starts dating a judge named Linda for several episodes. The relationship ends when Charlie humiliates Linda at a special dinner.

Charlie falls in love with his future stepsister, Courtney. At the wedding, Charlie proposes to her and she says yes. The brief engagement is called off when Teddy dies hours after his marriage with Evelyn, and Courtney is revealed to be a con artist and is arrested.

Charlie learns that his ex-fiancée, Mia, is getting married. Charlie crashes the wedding to announce that he is still in love with her. Mia turns him down, and her dad punches him in the nose.

Season 6

Charlie starts dating a woman named Chelsea and the relationship gets serious. Charlie tells her that he loves her, but she just says "Thank you." Charlie proposes to Chelsea so he can get her to say she loves him. Chelsea says yes to the proposal. The couple move in together at the end of the season. Charlie is there when Judith gives birth to her daughter, Milly.

Season 7

Charlie and Chelsea starts to make preparations for their marriage, at the same time both try to convive with each other's families. After Alan is arrested for punching a guy in a bar, Chelsea finds him a lawyer, Brad, which causes Chelsea a little attraction, and invites the couple to a charity event. Charlie tells Chelsea he won't be going, but Alan later warns him about Chelsea and Brad possible attraction. Charlie wonders if it's true, and after hints that Chelsea may have some relationship with Brad, both have a fight, and she leaves the house. After entering depression, and eventually marrying a woman named Betsy in Las Vegas (which was actually invalid, as she was already married), Charlie learns that Chelsea and Brad are dating, and even stalks her with Alan's help. Both later have a post-breakup one-night stand, and are left rethinking if they have done the right thing in breaking up. Charlie runs into Chelsea's friend [Gail], which had previously stayed at his house during a hard breakup, and attracted Charlie and Alan (the latter caused her to leave the house by Charlie's and Berta's idea). Both had relations, but Charlie learns that Chelsea is having problems with Brad. Both meet to talk, but Chelsea storms off when Charlie tells he slept with Gail, and later when she goes to his house to apologize, but finds Charlie is sleeping with Gail again. After hearing that Alan was invited to Chelsea's birthday, Charlie takes Jake to give her a present by him, but after trying to hide from her, he crashes into a police car, and is arrested.

Season 8

Single yet again, Charlie spends the majority of season 8, pursuing new women and hoping to replace Chelsea. However, he begins to develop genuine feelings for Rose after she becomes a married woman. This is soon proven false, as she is using a mannequin ("Manfred Quinn") to pose as her husband in order to make Charlie jealous, and eventually win him over. In the last episode of the season, Charlie and Rose take an ill-fated trip to Paris.

"Death"

Charlie Harper is reported by Rose to have died in Paris after being struck by a train. In the Season 9 premiere, his funeral features one of his trademark bowling shirts and a pair of cargo shorts hanging by his closed casket. Rose explains that Charlie had proposed to her in Paris, and although they were happy for a few days, she found him in the shower with another woman when she returned from shopping. The next day, Charlie fell off a Paris Métro platform and was struck by a train, his body exploding "like a balloon full of meat." It is heavily implied that Rose was responsible for his death, as suggested by both her and Berta.

After Charlie's funeral, he is often mentioned by his remaining loved ones, typically in a disrespectful manner. New details and secrets about his life emerge. His ashes are delivered to Alan, who decides to spread them on the beach, but ends up spilling them after being startled by the sight of Walden Schmidt, soaking wet, at the window.

In the episode "Those Fancy Japanese Toilets," it is revealed that Charlie kept a private journal in a safe deposit box, which the bank gave to his mother after his death. Alan becomes fascinated with the journal, as it shows a different side of Charlie. The entries reveal that Charlie speculated on various causes of his death, such as liver failure or being pushed in front of a bus, and reflected on his condescending behavior toward women. He also admitted that he once believed Jake had a bright future but secretly thought Jake might not be Alan's biological son. Despite his criticism and abuse, the journal hints that Charlie idolized his brother and missed him when he moved in with Lyndsey, though he was certain Alan would be back soon.

In "Thank You For The Intercourse," Walden redecorates the house and donates Charlie's piano to an orphanage. Alan, missing Charlie, suffers a mental breakdown and begins to imitate him, even successfully picking up women. Concerned, Jake and Walden bring Alan to a mental institution, tricking him into believing they were going on a trip to Las Vegas.

Charlie is reintroduced in the episode "Why We Gave Up Women," portrayed by Kathy Bates. While Alan is hospitalized for a mild heart attack, he encounters a woman dressed like Charlie, smoking a cigar, who claims to be Charlie himself. After correctly answering personal questions, Charlie reveals that he is in Hell and, as punishment, is living in the body of an older woman but still has a pair of testicles. Charlie advises Alan to turn his life around and become self-dependent. Alan attempts to follow this advice by moving into a low-grade apartment, but Charlie appears again and admits he didn't care if Alan changed—he just wanted him out of his house. Later, after Alan fakes a second heart attack, Charlie appears to Jake and tries to hint at his identity, but Jake fails to understand. Annoyed, Charlie returns to Hell, complaining about not having male genitals anymore.

In Season 10 of Two and a Half Men, Charlie Harper is frequently mentioned, often in reference to his emotional breakdowns or relationships. In "A Big Bag of Dog," Berta notes that Charlie used to have emotional meltdowns in the master bedroom over breakups. In "That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam," Rose's return prompts discussions about her previous stalking of Charlie and her concerns about dating Walden because he lives in Charlie's house. In "Something My Gynecologist Said," Walden makes a meta-reference to Charlie's death while talking about a fake book. Berta mentions Charlie in "I Scream When I Pee," noting she never thought she could work for anyone besides him, but praises Walden as her best boss. Alan briefly mentions him in "Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby," and in the finale, "Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped," Charlie is remembered when Alan and Jake smoke cigars that Charlie left for Jake's graduation. In "Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon," Walden jokes that their messy beach house looks like "Charlie Sheen's house."

Charlie's Daughter

In Season 11, Charlie's daughter, Jenny, arrives at the beach house, surprising Alan, who was unaware of her existence. She reveals that she last saw Charlie at her fourth birthday before her mother banned him from seeing her, but Charlie continued to provide for Jenny by sending checks until his death. Alan shares that he kept Charlie's ashes in the liquor cabinet. Jenny begins to learn more about her father, and Berta shares stories, but most of them involve drugs, alcohol, or hookers. The family toasts to Charlie at Pavlov's, recognizing him as a father, brother, and the man who owned the beach house.

Evelyn, Charlie's mother, admits in a later episode that she was not a great mother to Charlie and Alan and tries to make up for it with Jenny. Walden has a moment where he talks to Charlie's ashes, thanking him for the house and joking about his life choices. Jenny reveals that Charlie only wrote to her once, asking, "Are your friends 18 yet?"

Charlie's Return

In the series finale, "Of Course He's Dead," Rose reveals that Charlie did not die in Paris. After discovering him with a hooker, a mime, and a goat, Rose tried to kill him, but he survived. Rose kept him imprisoned in a pit under her house in Sherman Oaks for four years before he escaped, collected $2.5 million in royalties, and sent threatening messages to Alan, Evelyn, and Walden, warning of his return. He also sent generous checks to Jenny, his ex-girlfriends, Berta, and Jake.

In the finale's final moments, Charlie (shown only from the back) approaches the beach house to ring the doorbell, but a helicopter drops his grand piano on him, ending his story for good. Despite speculation, Charlie Sheen does not make an on-screen appearance; his character is depicted through animation and a stand-in for the last scene.

The finale emphasizes that, despite Charlie's survival, no one is particularly happy about his return, as they had moved on with their lives and formed a closer family unit in his absence.

Trivia

• The character of Charlie Harper was based on Charlie Sheen's character, Charlie Crawford, from Spin City, with the role specifically created with Sheen in mind. Charlie's first job writing jingles was for a toothpaste brand, and his first national commercial was for Pepsi, which was viewed by around 20 million people when it aired. His mother, Evelyn, was disappointed that he couldn't secure a contract with Coke instead.
• Charlie's cell phone had several escort service phone numbers. He labels them by preference, as seen when he calls "Silent Betty".
• Charlie is not academically intelligent like his brother Alan, but he possesses far more common sense and street smarts, contributing to his greater success in life compared to Alan. He briefly studied at Juilliard but was "kicked out" for unspecified reasons.
• Charlie's "death" on the show was a result of Charlie Sheen's firing in September 2011 after a dispute with the show's creator, Chuck Lorre. Ashton Kutcher replaced Sheen, playing Walden Schmidt, an internet billionaire who buys Charlie's beach house and allows Alan and Jake to stay there following Charlie's death and funeral. At his funeral, it is revealed that Charlie was apparently only diagnosed with one disease, but several past girlfriends claimed he had transmitted multiple infections to them.
• Throughout the series, Charlie is often seen holding his iPhone incorrectly. Whether this was due to the character's frequent intoxication or an oversight by the camera crew is unclear. In the Season 9 finale, parts of Charlie's hair, body, and fingers are visible, marking the last time the character was portrayed by Charlie Sheen.
• Charlie had two tattoos: a rose on his right butt cheek, done by Rose when she was taking care of him while he was sick, and a second tattoo saying "Get out of my house" on his crotch, which he got in Season 8.
• It is unknown at what age Charlie lost his virginity, but from all the dialogue it is made clear he has been sexually active since his early teens and possibly lost it to an older woman.