Alan Harper

Alan Harper
Vital statistics
Names	Alan Jerome Harper
Gender	Male
Race	Human
Occupation	Chiropractor
Origin	Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot (Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal) September 22, 2003
Alignment	Mixed
Age	34 (S1) 46 (S12)
Created By	Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn
Height	1.75 m (5ft 9in)
Weight	Varies

Dr. Alan Jerome Harper, DC (formerly Harper-Schmidt), is a main character in Two and a Half Men. He became the main protagonist for the final four seasons. Notably, Alan is the only character to appear in every episode of the series.

Appearance

Alan Harper is typically portrayed as a somewhat disheveled and neurotic middle-aged man with an average build. He has short, light brown hair that is often neatly combed to the side, giving him a slightly conservative appearance. He frequently sports a clean-shaven face, which can accentuate his sometimes awkward or anxious expressions. Alan’s wardrobe reflects his down-to-earth, frugal nature; he often wears casual attire, including polo shirts, plaid button-down shirts, sweaters, khakis, and jeans. On occasion, he may be seen wearing a bathrobe or pajamas, particularly when lounging around the Malibu beach house he shares with his brother, Charlie, or later, with Walden. Alan's style choices are often understated, emphasizing his modest and practical personality.

Personality

Alan is extremely stingy and almost never pays for the smallest thing, be it a meal or the rent. For twelve years, he never paid a dime to live in Charlie's beach house in Malibu, even after his brother died. Although Alan was initially more concerned with being there for Jake or reconciling with Judith, Alan's evolution from struggling father to victim of the universe to shameless con man becomes more and more apparent. Alan will do anything to get money, dirty or otherwise. In "A Live Woman of Proven Fertility," he bribed Jake into liking Judith's fiancé Herb Melnick so he wouldn't have to pay alimony, and in "Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak," he set up a huge Ponzi scheme to swindle his friends and family out of $50,000, but quickly spent the money on himself, plunging him into massive debt". Perhaps the most memorable and certainly the least dignified moment was when he ran fully clothed into the sea to get Walden's expensive rhodium and Platinum ring back. in "A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes". However, you can't put all the blame for his miserliness on Alan. During the divorce proceedings, Charlie slept with his expensive lawyer and later left her, prompting her to increase the alimony payments in revenge, leaving him with virtually nothing. This situation worsened when he and Kandi divorced. However, there is evidence that Alan's stingy and frugal attitude towards money existed before he was dependent on alimony. When Alan defends his inability to pay for Jake's outing by saying "I'm not stingy, I'm broke," Charlie tells Jake that "he was stingy long before he was broke." This is probably because as Alan got older and his misfortune and bad luck piled up, he realised that he'd never really succeed and began to abandon his morals.

One of Alan's contrasting traits to his brother is his aversion to hard liquor (bourbon, scotch, whiskey, etc.) and his fondness for light beer and Appletini's, much to Charlie's chagrin.

Despite facing a lot of harsh treatment from others, Alan's genuinely annoying attitude and loudly mocking character make him a difficult person to be around. Alan often acts out of fear, which is why he's not seen as brave, but rather, he regrets his acts of bravery. This is because he's powerless in those situations, leading to more harm for him. This pattern is especially evident with Evelyn, his mother, and Judith, due to her influential lawyer. Whenever Alan attempts to confront Judith, he often finds himself regretting it, either by losing his courage and letting Judith win, or by acting on his bold statements, which Judith then uses against him.

Alan leads a very sedentary sexual life and often turns to frequent masturbation. His relationship with Judith lacked any romantic spark. Charlie characterizes him as someone who has been "married for twelve years but only had sex twelve times." This led Alan to become overly dependent on women he only had sexual encounters with, confusing his feelings for true love. Following a purely physical weekend with Nancy, a woman he encountered at the grocery store, he was ready to run away to Vegas with her, but his plans were dashed when she informed him her husband had arrived early in "Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers". The most notable instance was with Kandi, who appeared to care for Alan but was incredibly foolish and shared little in common with him. They hastily got married in Vegas after Charlie and Mia's wedding was canceled, only to part ways a few months later. Additionally, it was revealed that Alan uses Viagra, a fact highlighted when he started masturbating throughout the house. Charlie was taken aback to learn that Alan's "constant sexual frenzy" was due to financial reasons, as his Viagra would soon run out. Alan jokingly added, "... and horny" in "Twanging Your Magic Clanger". In "Ergo, The Booty Call," Jake mistakenly took one of Alan's Viagra pills, mistaking them for vitamins, during a birthday party, to which Berta jokingly remarked, "the kid's gonna need another party hat" (to hide the erection).

Despite being portrayed as a solitary individual, Alan has had numerous romantic partners throughout the series, yet it's usually him who ends up destroying these relationships. This pattern is evident, for instance, when he and Judith were on the verge of making up but, after their intimate encounter, he became upset over her desire to have sex after their divorce, choosing not to do the same in "Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark." Similarly, his jealousy got the better of him when his girlfriend, Lindsey, gave him a house key, suspecting Charlie of trying to take her away, and he broke up with her over their unsatisfying sexual relationship, which she had planned to have with her friend in "Meander to Your Dander." Despite his constant surrender to women, Alan displays remarkable confidence and charisma at times, though these moments are fleeting. Alan has been taken advantage of by almost every woman in his life, a fact that is often pointed out by others, but he ultimately blames Evelyn for his predicament. Despite loving his mother more than Charlie yet being the least favored, Alan craves affection but is met with indifference. Evelyn drained the joy from her children's lives with her self-centeredness and devalued his worth, making him even more desperate for love, which he then transfers to every woman he enters into a relationship with, allowing himself to be manipulated and neglecting his own desires to please them instead. The irony of this situation is that his quest for love has led to resentment from every woman he has been with. The closest Alan has experienced to a loving relationship was with a single mother who was struggling. His need for affection led him to lose his job and his apartment to Kandi, as he failed to see the importance of keeping the money for himself and being aware of Judith's plot to make him even more unhappy.

Alan is described as a man who is very feminine, which some people think makes him gay, but he insists he's just metrosexual. He has a wide and rich vocabulary, often speaking in clear and complex sentences, dresses in bold and stylish outfits, enjoys watching Glee and Broadway shows and musicals like The Lion King. He also started questioning his own sexual orientation when he started spending time with his friend Eric, who was gay in "Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous". Additionally, after his friends and family started seeing him as gay and their lives improved, he was truly confused until he kissed Eric and realized he didn't have any romantic feelings for him, which led him to confront Eric and ask him to leave his car after realizing he was more attracted to Charlie.

Even though he's seen as quite gentle, Alan has a sinister aspect and shows signs of a harsh nature. Upon learning that Charlie had accused him of taking Silly Putty when he was younger, he furiously attempted to break down the door Charlie was concealing himself behind in "The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance". Similarly, when his girlfriend was assaulted during their outing, he struck the assailant directly in the face, admitting that he found pleasure in it, which he later acknowledges he possesses a "monster" within in "Crude and Uncalled For".

Although a kind person, the stress from his divorce, ongoing alimony payments, frequent rejections, and years of suppressed anger and fury have also led to significant mental strain. The revealed details of his past show him struggling with poor social skills and dealing with agoraphobia, bed-wetting, and night terrors, as detailed in "Hey, I Can Pee Outside In The Dark". Additionally, the built-up anger after his divorce with Judith resulted in sleep-walking and outbursts until he vented his anger during therapy sessions with a padded baton in "My Doctor Has A Cow Puppet". Alan's mental issues are more pronounced in certain episodes. He reached a breaking point after Kandi ended their marriage in "Working for Caligula" and became consumed with envy of his brother's successful life. The bitterness towards Charlie, who faced no repercussions for his wild lifestyle while he was consistently punished for his good behavior and clean record, led to insomnia in "Release the Dogs". He had a breakdown in a cinema library, started yelling during a movie, and hyperventilated in Charlie's car upon realizing his son was getting older and wanted more time away from him in "That Special Tug". A particularly severe aspect of Alan's mental illness was his struggle with identity. He was deeply affected by Charlie's death, to the point where he believed he was his brother and began to act like him, even speaking to a reflection of himself in the mirror in "Thank You For The Intercourse" while contemplating what to do with the money he had swindled from his family.

Biography

Alan was married to Judith, the mother of their son Jake, until Judith divorced him. The divorce was difficult for Alan, who lost most of his possessions and ended up paying $3,875 in monthly alimony. This amount was set after Charlie slept with, then broke up with, Alan's lawyer, who retaliated by negotiating a high alimony for Judith.

Alan drives a Volvo station wagon and operates his own chiropractic clinic in the San Fernando Valley, where he has won the "San Fernando Valley Chiropractic Award" several times. He becomes annoyed when people remind him that he is not a medical doctor. Although he aspired to be an M.D., the only medical school he could afford was in Mexico.

While Alan loves his brother and son, he harbors some resentment towards Charlie, who effortlessly attracts money and women, while Alan—despite working hard his whole life—has not achieved the same success. He also lacks faith in Jake, who he sees as lazy and unmotivated.

Alan’s second wife, Kandi (April Bowlby), was previously one of Charlie's girlfriends. Kandi often dates older men, possibly due to unresolved father issues.

Judith enjoyed a luxurious life on Alan’s alimony until she remarried Jake’s pediatrician, Dr. Herb Melnick (Ryan Stiles, also known as Greg Melnick in earlier episodes). Alan was delighted by the marriage, as it ended his alimony payments. Alan, Herb, and Charlie have since developed a close friendship, with Herb even becoming closer to them than to Judith.

When Alan divorced Kandi, she received his condo, which they had purchased with winnings from a spontaneous Las Vegas wedding. Alan then moved into the guest room of Charlie's Malibu Beach House, where he did not pay rent for the first five years, two months, and eleven days, since nearly all his income went to alimony and supporting Jake. When Evelyn offered to pay for Jake's college, Alan felt unmotivated to work. Eventually, he agreed to pay Charlie a small amount of rent, though it wasn’t enough to earn him a say in household matters.

Shortly before Judith married Herb, Alan and Judith had a brief sexual encounter, resulting in Judith’s pregnancy with an uncertain paternity. While hints suggest the child might be Alan's, the true father remains unknown, and Charlie even joked that the baby might not belong to either of them.

Alan starts spending more time with Herb, much to Judith's annoyance. He also begins dating Lyndsey McElroy, the mother of Jake's friend Eldridge McElroy, with whom he has a fling in a bathroom.

After Charlie's death and funeral in Season 9, Alan is left deeply saddened and feeling lonely. He shares a heartfelt farewell with Charlie's cremated remains, expressing his love and gratitude for allowing him and Jake to live in the beach house for the past eight years. He plans to scatter Charlie's ashes on the beach, but Walden's sudden appearance startles him, causing him to accidentally fling the urn and scatter Charlie's ashes all over the living room. Unable to afford the beach house on his own, Alan reluctantly sells it to Walden. Despite this, Alan and Jake continue to live in the house, which has been their home for eight years. Walden considers Alan his best friend, and Alan helps guide Walden through the world of dating and other ordinary life experiences.

While Alan genuinely cares about Walden and sees him as his best friend, he also has an ulterior motive: to keep Walden paying for the house so that Alan won't end up homeless or have to live with his mother, Evelyn. Alan is willing to sacrifice any remaining dignity to ensure he can stay in the house, acknowledging that he has resigned himself to living off others and will never achieve success on his own.

Eventually, Alan's suppressed grief over losing his only brother begins to overwhelm him, and he starts to lose his sanity, believing himself to be Charlie. This is driven by his desire to live Charlie's life and keep his brother "alive" in some way. After spending 28 days in a rehab center, Alan returns to find that Walden has remodeled the beach house. Alan comes to terms with the reality that Charlie is truly gone and contemplates leaving. However, Walden reassures him that he still has a place there, so Alan continues living in what is now Walden and Alan's beach house. Despite his earlier feelings, Alan eventually admits that Charlie was a terrible person.

During this period, Alan and Lyndsey get engaged, but their relationship ultimately falls apart when the spark is gone, and Lyndsey calls off the wedding. Meanwhile, Kandi returns seeking reconciliation, but Alan turns her down. Alan's long-lost niece arrives in town and moves in with him and Walden.

At the start of the season, it is revealed that Alan's chiropractic clinic went out of business due to his ongoing financial troubles, leaving him unemployed. To escape his unpaid rent, Alan fakes his own death. He then begins an affair with Lyndsey, despite her being in a relationship with another man. Alan and Judith also briefly reunite and get engaged after a drunken night, but they break it off when Judith learns Alan had initially planned to propose to Lyndsey.

Alan's affair with Lyndsey ends when he starts a new relationship with Larry's sister, Gretchen. The two become engaged, but their plans are put on hold when Gretchen's former husband returns, seeking reconciliation. She tells Alan that they are not over but needs time to think before deciding what to do next. After a health scare, Walden decides to reprioritize his life and adopts a baby. Realizing that being single might hinder his chances, he concludes that getting married is the only way to ensure success in the adoption process. Unable to find anyone else willing to marry him, he asks Alan to marry him and pretend they are a gay couple. Jenny moves out of the house and in with Evelyn to make space for the adoption preparations. Walden and Alan adopt a child named Louis and later decide to divorce so they can pursue relationships with women. Alan proposes to Lyndsey for a second time, and she accepts. Meanwhile, Walden starts a romantic relationship with Louis' social worker, Ms. McMartin

In a surprising twist, Charlie is revealed to be alive after being held captive by Rose. However, he is killed before he can reunite with Walden and Alan.

Trivia

• In the twelfth season episode "Glamping in a Yurt," following Walden's embrace and affectionate gestures towards Alan to stage a believable scene and aid in Alan's adoption, Alan's reaction to this display of love is clearly noticeable, suggesting that, despite not identifying as gay, he harbors enough loneliness to find comfort in anyone who shows him kindness.
• Alan shares certain traits with Sheldon Cooper, a character from The Big Bang Theory, another sitcom created by Chuck Lorre. Yet, despite Sheldon's tendency to be antisocial, he exhibits significantly more bravery than Alan and has never allowed a single woman to dominate his life, thanks to his resilient personality. Moreover, Sheldon enjoys a more successful career, is notably smarter and more practical than Alan in all aspects, including social life.
• He bears resemblance to Rajesh Koothrappalli in romantic relationships, as he often ends up damaging them with his clinginess, selfishness, neediness, disregard for others' boundaries, and arrogance. Both are frequently misjudged as gay due to their effeminate behavior, which they deny as being straight or metrosexual.
• Alan was born out of wedlock. His mother personally tells him he is "a pitcher of margaritas and a gas station condom," in "The Sea is a Harsh Mistress." In the episode "Warning, It's Dirty," Evelyn recalls how forty years ago, Charlie had asked for a younger brother for Christmas, casting doubt on whether Alan was indeed born out of wedlock. In "One False Move, Zimbabwe!", Alan mentions that Evelyn got pregnant because she didn't want to ruin her lipstick.
• Despite leading a very pitiful existence, he harbors a deep fear of death. In Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle, it's revealed that Alan is the surviving son of Evelyn Harper after Charlie's demise.
• There's a lack of consistency regarding Alan Harper's age because in the episode "Slowly and In A Circular Fashion," he is awarded $50,000 annually for owning a portion of Walden's company, yet in "Mr. Hose Says "Yes"" he mentions that staying at a hotel costs money and he doesn't have any. It's possible that he has already spent all that money. Additionally, in "Slowly and In A Circular Fashion," Alan is named on the house deed, yet in "Mr. Hose Says "Yes"" Zoey makes a snide remark about him letting Walden use his own house for a change." It's uncertain whether she is aware of his name being on the deed.
• During the episode "Why We Gave Up Women," Alan's most embarrassing moment of being cheap occurred when he was suffering a heart attack and Walden had accidentally dropped $100, yet Alan still made the effort to crawl to it.
• His name, which is an anagram for "Anal," was a nickname given to him by Charlie, who once described him as having that personality.
• Only Walden, Larry, and Herb consider Alan a friend. However, while the first two genuinely see him as a friend and enjoy his company, Walden dislikes him and wishes to distance himself.
• In the first season, Alan never discussed his tendency to be cheap.
• He is known for wearing "tighty-whitey" briefs.
• In "Bite Me, Supreme Court," it was revealed that Alan took ballet lessons at the age of 14.
• The show "Two and a Half Men" shares similarities with "The Odd Couple," with Alan resembling Felix Unger. He is similar to Unger in being a neat freak and obsessive compulsive, except for his tendency to be cheap and irritating. While living with Walden and his brother Charlie, every woman found him to be annoying and cheap.
• Alan is right-handed.
• He suffers from lactose intolerance, which means he cannot consume dairy products like milk.
• Berta mentions that Alan has "phone cahones," indicating that he is assertive over the phone but lacks confidence in face-to-face interactions
• Alan's biggest fear is dying outside the beach house.
• He has been arrested a total of six times, starting with stealing his ex-wife's dog, being mistaken for a thief twice, streaking with Melissa twice, assaulting someone, and masturbating in a movie theater.
• There are rumors that Alan is a registered sex offender.