Melissa (Two and a Half Men)
| Melissa (Two and a Half Men) | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Vital statistics | |
| Names | Melissa, Tinkerbell, Smurf |
| Gender | Female |
| Race | Human |
| Occupation | Receptionist |
| Origin | Two and a Half Men Season 6 Episode 4: The Flavin' and the Mavin' October 13, 2008. |
| Alignment | Good |
| Age | 30s |
| Created By | Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky & Jim Patterson |
| Height | 1.5 m (4ft 11in) |
| Weight | 54 kg (119lbs) |
Melissa, Alan's ex-receptionist and former girlfriend, is a sweet and good-natured individual, one of the few who truly appreciates him.
She is portrayed by Kelly Stables
Appearance[edit | edit source]
In terms of physical appearance, Melissa is undeniably gorgeous. Her striking features include her petite stature, shoulder-length blonde hair, and captivating green eyes. She often dresses in business casual attire, which complements her tanned skin and well-toned physique.
Biography[edit | edit source]
She served as his receptionist for most of season 6 and has a sassy demeanor. Before getting together with Alan, she dated Charlie in "The Flavin' And The Mavin'". After a turbulent love weekend, they eventually broke up. According to Alan, they were locked in a room for two days, during which Charlie suffered friction burns. The relationship ended disastrously when she drove furiously and fast in a heavy downpour on the way to Alan's office, forcing Alan to give her a raise and health insurance.
After recovering from her breakdown, Melissa begins to fall in love with Alan and organizes his birthday party, "David Copperfield Slipped Me A Roofie." She also introduces him to her mother Shelly. After Alan's family and Berta mock him during the party, she scolds them and lets him stay in her house. She kicks him out after catching Shelly and the drugged Alan in bed together.
Alan tries to apologize to her over the phone in "Sir Lancelot's Litter Box", but she angrily berates him and decides to hang up
Since then, Melissa had been working at the hospital where Judith gave birth in "Baseball Was Better With Steroids" to try to forget him. However, her feelings for Alan returned while Judith was giving birth, and they end up making out in the storage closet. In the Season 7 premiere, "818-jklpuzo," Melissa appears to have moved into the Harpers' beach house; when Charlie reminds Alan of this, he quickly denies it.
In "Whipped Unto The Third Generation," Charlie, after being coerced by Chelsea, lets Melissa stay. When Alan and Melissa take advantage of Charlie's generosity, Charlie stays in a hotel overnight. Alan is quick to join him when Chelsea and Melissa disobey his orders. Alan and Charlie turn to Evelyn, who reveals that Melissa and Charlie had slept together, whereupon Chelsea and Melissa end their friendship and Melissa moves out, promising never to come to Charlie's house again.
In "Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator," Melissa is fed up with Alan's frugality and his lack of independence, prompting him to take a job as Evelyn's assistant to supplement his income. When showing Melissa a partially nice house, Evelyn reveals that the owners, a couple with properties nationwide, likely don't even remember this one exists. Alan seizes this opportunity by inviting Melissa over that night, claiming he has rented the place. To avoid leaving any evidence, Alan suggests they have sex on a beach towel in the living room. However, they accidentally spill wine on the carpet, leading to a heated argument over their unauthorized presence. They reconcile, but their troubles escalate when Evelyn, the house's owner, unexpectedly arrives with potential buyers. Alan, in a panic, orders Melissa to leave in her underwear upon Evelyn's arrival. When they're caught by the police outside, Melissa escapes, leaving Alan to face the authorities alone. It's subtly suggested that this incident marks the end of Melissa and Alan's relationship, with Alan jokingly referring to it as "You could say I dumped Melissa and decided she never wants to see me again." Since then, Alan has gone on several other dates, including one with a woman significantly overweight, another that ended with him becoming bored and resorting to violence against a rude date who was trying to end the date and leave with him.
She returned in Season 8 and crossed paths with Alan at a liquor store in "A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer." She was overjoyed to see him again and engaged in conversation. However, Alan was not forthcoming about his current relationship status, despite living with Lyndsey McElroy, who he was romantically involved with. The moment was ripe, and they quickly moved to kissing and eventually to sex at Charlie's place. Yet, Alan never disclosed Lyndsey's name to her. He continued to see her secretly while Lyndsey was around, and she expressed her desire to move in with him at Charlie's house in "A Pudding-Filled Cactus." Charlie, however, convinced Alan to end their relationship, which he did through a text message, leaving her furious. She stormed over to Charlie's house, only to physically confront him when he refused to reveal Alan's whereabouts. Later, he did disclose that he was at Lyndsey's house when she threatened to punish Alan even more severely. Charlie, in response, vomited from the pain, and Melissa, who was genuinely sorry, bid him farewell. It remains a mystery what became of her after that incident.
